In short: Chaos. You would think that when one particular part of my life was up in the air, I would balance that uncertainty out by keeping order in other parts. False. Fall is taking a bit of a toll on my skin, I’ve tried 4 different shampoo/conditioners in the past 2 weeks and my hair is still not cooperating, and it has been almost 3 weeks since I moved back to St. Louis from Birmingham, and my room/my brother’s old room/my closet are still in an epic state of chaos in need of disaster relief. No matter how hard I try to organize, the fact that yet another move (my 4th move – my 4th city – in 4 months…this has got to stop) may take place in the next month keeps me from *cough* unpacking.
Call it typical post-grad syndrome, but I am slightly dying to escape into an even greater unknown. I blame this urge on Hannah — a best friend of mine that I need /am dying to talk to — who is across the world in Switzerland until December. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I weekly look up flights to Europe, hoping for a deep enough discount to rationalize a spontaneous trip abroad. Dreaming? Absolutely, but dreams are good for the soul.
Honestly, at this point all I can think is – Thank God for Playoff Baseball and what I’m calling “Live Music October.” Obviously, as a sports/baseball fanatic, nothing pleases my heart more than seeing my team clinch a spot in the playoffs. Other October goodness? I’ve booked myself at 8 concerts this next month, artists that all rank in my Top 10 favorites. There is also something about concerts and live music that instantly calm me. Maybe it’s the talent portrayed. Maybe it’s the lyrics. Maybe it’s the environment. Whatever it is, it is seriously therapeutic and JUST what I need in the midst of a chaotic life.
This feeling will pass. The unknown will turn into settling down. I’ll find a yellow brick road to follow. Dear self: sit back, relax, and enjoy the crazy ride that we call life.